… Until I Became a Mom
Before I had kids, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what parenting would sound like. Spoiler alert: I was wrong. Nothing—and I mean nothing—could have prepared me for the bizarre, hilarious, and totally unexpected things that have come out of my mouth since becoming a mom.
So today, I’m sharing a few of the gems I’ve caught myself saying, in hopes that you’ll laugh, nod along, or even send this to a fellow mom who just gets it.
Sentences I Never Thought Would Leave My Mouth
- “Stop licking the window.”
- “We do not hide snacks in our underwear.”
- “Please stop brushing the dog’s teeth with my toothbrush.”
- “How did you get a Cheerio in your belly button again?”
- “Yes, that is your poop. No, we do not name it.”
- “We don’t eat crayons, even the red ones that look like licorice.”
- “The couch is not a trampoline. No, not even if you’re ‘being Spiderman.’”
- “We do not wear a tutu and snow boots to church… oh, okay fine, let’s go.”
It’s Funny… But It’s Also Real
Here’s the truth: motherhood is one wild ride. There are moments where I’m laughing so hard I cry, and others where I’m crying because I’m so tired I could sleep standing up. And somehow, both of those moments are often five minutes apart.
If you’re reading this with a toddler climbing you like a jungle gym or a baby trying to chew your phone while you scroll—just know, you’re not alone. We’re all out here doing our best, saying weird stuff, and surviving one messy, beautiful day at a time.
Let’s Normalize the Chaos
The next time you say something ridiculous like “Don’t put peas in your ears,” smile. You’re in the club. The sacred, sleep-deprived, spit-up-stained sisterhood of motherhood.
We’re all just trying to keep our tiny humans alive while keeping our sense of humor in the process.
🍼 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve caught yourself saying as a mom? Share it in the comments or DM me on Instagram—I’d love to do a follow-up post with your best submissions!
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